Harper Valley PTA

by Jeannie C. Riley

I wanna tell you all a story ‘bout a Harper Valley widowed wife,
Who had a teenage daughter who attended Harper Valley Junior High,
Well her daughter came home one afternoon and didn’t even stop to play,
And she said, “Mom I got a note here from the Harper Valley PTA.”

Well the note said, “Mrs. Johnson, you’re wearing your dresses way too high
It’s reported you’ve been drinkin’ and runnin’ round with men and goin’ wild
And we don’t believe you oughta be a bringin’ up your little girl this way.”
And it was signed by the secretary, “Harper Valley PTA.”

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon
And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Johnson wore her mini-skirt into the room
And as she walked up to the black board, I still recall the words she had to say
She said, “I’d like to address this meeting of the Harper Valley PTA.

Well, there’s Bobby Taylor sittin’ there, and seven times he’s asked me for a date.
And Mrs. Taylor seems to use a lotta ice, whenever he’s away.
And Mr. Baker can you tell us why your secretary had to leave this town?
And shouldn’t widow Jones be told to keep her window shades a-pulled completely down.

Well Mr. Harper couldn’t be here cause he stayed too long at Kelly’s Bar again
And if you smell Shirley Thompson’s breath you’ll find she’s had a little nip of gin
And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as a mother I’m not fit
Well this is just a little Peyton Place, and you’re all Harper Valley hypocrites.”

No, I wouldn’t put you on because, it really did happen just this way
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA
The day my momma socked it to, the Harper Valley PTA

Read more about Harper Valley PTA at Wikipedia.